Using the Enneagram with Judith Searle
SEX, LOVE AND YOUR PERSONALITY: The Nine Faces of Intimacy
By Mona Coates, Ph.D. and Judith Searle
Published by Therapy Options Press
Trade paperback. $19.95
ISBN: 978-0-9835562-0-6
book Available now on Amazon

Sex, Love and Your Personality: The Nine Faces of Intimacy is the first book to describe in detail the sex and love problems commonly encountered by each of the nine basic personality types and the first to offer a field-tested assessment tool for predicting whether a particular intimate relationship is likely to endure and/or be satisfying.

The book presents this groundbreaking material in the form of detailed case studies from sex therapist Mona Coates’s 35-year practice that eloquently describe individuals of different personality styles struggling to understand themselves and their partners.

But Sex, Love offers real substance, even beyond its powerful case studies. In presenting Mona Coates’s innovative Five Factors compatibility assessment tool, which successfully predicts the durability of a particular intimate relationship, it makes a landmark contribution to couples therapy. In case after case, these Five Factors are shown to have consistent predictive value. This makes the book useful in a practical way not only for couples contemplating a lifetime commitment but also for professional therapists and counselors.

In the 54 cases described in Sex, Love, Coates offers examples of a wide variety of treatment modalities currently in use. This aspect of the book will also be of special interest to mental health professionals.

Although three of Coates’s Five Factors are related to the Enneagram system, the two most important ones are unrelated to personality type. Sex, Love discusses the Enneagram only to the extent necessary to communicate essential ideas simply and clearly. This approach makes Sex, Love accessible to a wider audience than books that focus on teaching the Enneagram or expanding theories about it.

Mona Coates, Ph.D. has unique qualifications to author this innovative book. Her decades of experience as a nationally certified sex therapist and sex educator, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified Enneagram instructor, plus her 37 years experience as a college professor of Sociology-Psychology/Human Sexuality give her indisputable authority in her field.

Co-author Judith Searle, a distinguished Enneagram author and teacher, is the author of six published books including The Literary Enneagram: Characters from the Inside Out.

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By Mona Coates Ph.D. and Judith Searle

Well written and clear, this book reads easily and quickly. Rushing through the book would be a mistake, however, since it contains many valuable insights about relationships, stories about real couples, and an excellent therapist's comments about the dynamics of each relationship. With just the right balance of Enneagram theory and real-world experience, the authors cut through the infinitely complex issues of relationships with their Five Factor model. We recommend this book as the best we have seen on the Enneagram and relationships.
     —Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
     Authors: The Wisdom Of The Enneagram and Personality Types

The combination of Mona Coates’s trained therapist ear and Judith Searle’s keen literary eye has produced a very readable, well-organized, succinct discourse about couples’ therapy, sexuality, and personality. This refreshingly frank book about nine personality styles and their sexual concerns should be of interest to just about anyone. Five factors for a successful sexual relationship are traced through male and female representatives of all the Enneagram styles with their three subtype variations. While this leads to 2 X 9 X 3 case studies, the input is neither overwhelming nor repetitious but rather holds the reader’s interest and fosters a deeper understanding of Enneagram theory and the practice of couples’ therapy.
     —Jerome Wagner, Ph.D.
     Author: Nine Lenses on the World: the Enneagram Perspective 

Rich with stories from a skilled therapist who successfully applies the Enneagram to love and intimate relationships, Sex, Love and Your Personality is smart, accessible and a must-have for anyone who wants tounderstand the pitfalls and strengths typical of their personality style and find solutions to their romantic dilemmas.”
     —Thomas Condon
     Author: The Enneagram Movie & Video Guide and The Dynamic Enneagram

This book is a fantastic guide for improving your relationship with the one you love—your key to making the relationship last.
     —Sharon Dunas, MFT, Psychotherapist
     President, National Alliance on Mental Illness – Los Angeles County

Readers of this book will find fascinating descriptions of actual therapy sessions unencumbered by professional jargon, and therapists will find helpful insights for their work.
     —Carolyn Bartlett, LCSW
     Author: The Enneagram Field Guide